Best Films 2012

Ok... here we go, my top 10 films of 2012. I am sure to offend and surprise, so let’s just jump right in, shall we?

10. Django Unchained

Sure, I was holding my fiancee very tightly through most of the last act, but there is no way to deny that Django is 2/3rds of an excellent movie. It is impossible to ignore the moral queasiness of the film’s end game, but it takes cajones to let Dr. Schultz die an honorable man, sticking to his guns (literally). In the end, this movie was too polarizing to leave off the list. Just because I disagree with someone’s creation does not mean it wasn’t well done. Think of Tarantino as a modern Nietzsche.

9. The Dark Knight Rises

Dark Knight 3 got a lot of gaff from a lot of people for being too big, too hopeful, too full of plot holes. Personally? I think they are full of hogwash. The Nolan Brothers successfully pulled off a Batman trilogy, and they pulled it off WELL. Not only that, but Chris Nolan has also successfully proved that he is NOT a nihilist... either that, or he proved that America still doesn’t shell out the big bucks for nihilistic films. Either way, I think that’s a win.

8. Les Miserables

I was a bit emotionally drained when I first saw it, so it is safe to say that I didn’t appreciate it as much as I would have had I been well rested. In retrospect, however? Definitely one of the best of the year. Yes, the critics are right, the music is dodgy in places, and it does rely on sentimentalism quite a lot (although it is helpful to keep in mind that Victor Hugo’s original novel was criticized for the exact same thing 150 years ago). But that is not the reason it is here, rather, it is because it is the only movie I can think of this year that leaned so heavily on the idea of God’s grace conquering all. No, not Rob Bell’s kind of grace, because Les Mis doesn’t shy away from making it clear that some reject this grace and end up in hell. No, this is grace and love and redemption through fire and brimstone.... no wonder so many critics are all twisted up in knots about it.

7. The Cabin in the Woods

Now for one that will probably turn a few heads. Yes, I just included a horror film on my top 10 list... also, yes, I did just imply that Cabin in the Woods was better than Avengers, and no, The Avengers isn’t going to show up in the next six on my list. Now, before you rage quit this essay, let me explain. Growing up watching a new Saw movie come out every Halloween, I too wondered when it would ever stop. Why the fascination with blood? Why the lust for more? Why all the pointless violence? Whedon successfully answers that question.... in a rather Greek way to be sure, but he at least attempts. And to be fair, he also keeps Cabin in the Woods in his Buffyverse. I won’t say anymore, except that this film also falls into the realm of “disagree with you so much, but well done.”

6. Premium Rush

Wow, has this been an amazing year for Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and where would an up and coming star be without his own action movie? Premium Rush isn’t nearly as serious as most of the other movies on this list, but holy crap did it get my blood pumping! There is not some great message here besides "dude on a mission" fodder, but boy does it deliver. My fiancee almost had a panic attack in the theater, it was so intense. The bad guy is deliciously villainous, the action scenes are well filmed... it’s just well done. If you are going to make an action flick, call David Koepp.

5. The Hobbit

Stop complaining... stop it now. The supposed “Tolkien-phils” who have gone completely rage-tastic over this film have completely missed the point of the exercise.... this is not SUPPOSED to be LotR. It is based on a kids book, a children’s book. Also, please keep in mind that The Hobbit came before LotR. After The Hobbit’s success, Tolkien’s publishers asked him for a follow up, but when he delivered LotR,  their reaction was basically “What the crap is this mess?” Now we are dealing with the reverse expectation, and for a man who promised to develop one of the most beloved kids books of the past century, tie it into its much larger film predecessor, and expand upon the author's additional works.... Peter Jackson did a bang up job. Stop complaining and just admit that it was good.

4. Wreck-it Ralph

It happened, regular Disney finally had a year where they outdid Pixar Disney. I don’t know how it happened, but it did, and Wreck-it Ralph is spectacular. By the very nature of the film itself, it is bound to draw comparisons to Tron and Toy Story, but it is so much more than that. In fact, after watching the movie, it seems more like the eye candy was just there to draw in an audience, and then after you’re in the theater, it hooks you with the story. It didn’t help that I related instantly to the interplay between Vanellope and Ralph, the relationship being eerily similar to my relationship with most women. If this movie doesn’t win best animated film of the year, I’m the queen of England.

3. Goon.

So.... much... fun. Warning, do not watch if you are offended by raunchy language, Canadians or hockey. I discovered Goon pretty early on in the year, and instantly fell in love with it. I have a digital copy on my iPod, and whenever I’m having a bad day, I can usually turn it on to almost any scene and have a good laugh. But more than that laugh factor, the reason I love this movie so much is how the main character maintains his honor, humility and kindness despite being surrounded by jerks and ********. At any point in the movie, you are worried that he will snap and being just as mean and nasty as those around him... but he doesn’t. The only thing that makes him snap is when someone attacks a person he loves. Yeah... I can’t relate to this movie at all. 

</sarcasm>

2. End of Watch

I watched this movie for the first time just a few weeks after finding out that my little sister was dating a cop. I talked with him afterwards about it, and he said that it was pretty true to fact, except as a beat cop in eastern Virginia, he didn’t see nearly the amount of depravity that is on display in Los Angeles. We have both agreed that my sister probably shouldn’t watch this movie for a while, at least until they are engaged. The movie itself is similar to Mel Gibson’s We Were Soldiers, in that is bounces back and forth from the cops’ home life to their life on the job, and boy is it brutal. Beautiful, but brutal. One of the few movies of the year that made me laugh, cry and cringe in terror. Powerful stuff.

1. Ruby Sparks

Here it is, the best film of the year. No other movie comes even close. Silver Linings Playbook tried to vie for the quirky rom-com of the year, but it falls woefully short of attaining these heights. Ruby Sparks is a rom-com written by a woman for men, and boy does it deliver. This was another one of those films that became intensely personal for me: the premise being similar to Stranger Than Fiction, except in reverse: man begins to write book, female character becomes real, man falls in love with woman, man tries to control women he has “created.” Actually, it shares far more in common with the myth of Pygmalion than it does with Stranger Than Fiction. This movie tore my heart out and stuck it on a pike.... and I cannot thank it enough. A beautiful morality play, the best parable of the year, and by far the best film. Period.

Heroes, Cinema and ADHD

There is something intoxicating about film and stories that are shown on a screen. Stories have always gripped us as humans, but there is nothing quite like seeing a story acted out in front of you. You are not merely hearing words, you are not only seeing pictures, this is not some bard singing you a tale of glorious battle; you are watching the story as if it were happening before your very eyes.

It is as if it were real. As if it were fact.

This is one of the reasons that I handle messy stuff in books far better than in film. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo as a book was gripping and a rather fun read... the movie, however, nearly traumatized me. 

Now, I’ve made it no small secret that I am a fan of Quentin Tarantino’s films. I’m not really sure which one is my personal favorite, but there is a certain energy about his movies that fascinates me. (I’ve discussed this before in my essay “Lust for Life.”)

So when his new movie, Django Unchained, came out and won rave reviews, I was eager to see it. My new fiancee, being a fan of heroic type, bloody action movies, seemed more than willing to go see it with me. So, with a free evening on our hands the day after Christmas, we decided to go see it.

One other thing that you should know in order for the following to make more sense: my fiancee has ADHD. For several years I was extremely skeptical that any such thing existed. America is overmedicated, I am sure no one will disagree with that, and I had always assumed that ADD and ADHD were just parents going crazy and not wanting to train their children properly... choosing to drug them instead. 

...I was wrong.

Until about 12, Leslie had undiagnosed ADHD, which mostly manifested itself in causing her to become overloaded with stimuli far too often. At 12, however, she had meds prescribed in order to control the rapidly firing synapses, and generally calm her down. Being an extremely bright child, my fiancee began to notice how much different she acted while on medication and how much she hated being on medication. Being the bright lass that she is, she discovered that she teach herself to control her brain and act like a normal person without the meds... thereby foregoing the need of them. So, the meds lasted for six or so, and she has self-medicated with self-control ever since... something that she tells me not all ADHD people can do.

Under good circumstances she can control how focused she is, and is generally very good at paying attention. Also, being a woman and ADHD, she is also incredibly good at multitasking (something that continues to perplex me to no end). However, when there are TVs blaring, people rushing by, horns going off and other such noise... she can become extremely distractible and it is often impossible to carry on a conversation with her. This is why watching movies at home is sometimes hard for us, because I will inevitably hone in on the movie, while she will be paying attention to everything and anything but. (Of course, because of her aforementioned ability to multitask, she usually knows exactly what is going on in the movie.)

In a movie theater, however, her ADHD works in the complete opposite direction. Because in the case of my dear fiancee, her “attention deficit” is more like “pay extremely close attention to everything that is going on around you.” And what is the only thing to pay attention to in a movie theater where everyone is behaving themselves? The screen.

In retrospect I should have known better than to take her to see a Tarantino film. Several months ago we went to see a David Koepp action flick. I personally loved it; it was perfect for an adrenaline junkie like myself. Leslie, however, nearly had a panic attack. I failed to realize that the movie, taking up all of her ADHD, overanalyzing, hyper-focused nerves, caused her to become super focused and invested whenever we went to see a movie on the big screen. So of course, anyone knowing anything about Quentin Tarantino could have guessed how she would react to the third act of one of his films.

As I write this now, however, I am actually quite grateful to her. If she hadn’t tagged along, I might have a far less critical view of what is sure to be one of the most talked about movies for the next few months. My reaction leaving the theater might have been more akin to a fanboy’s than a discerning movie goer’s had she not been holding my hand as we left the cineplex.

Now... on to my review... and as always.... spoilers to follow.

If I recall correctly, Leslie laughed harder than almost anyone at the opening scene of the film... which involved a German dentist, a tooth bobble-head, and two slave traders getting shot. Yes... this is a Tarantino movie all right. And in fact, the first 2/3rds of the movie unfolds like a hilarious, yet bloody, buddy comedy featuring Christoph Waltz and Jamie Foxx.

But then, of course, the third act kicks in, predicated by a classic scene of only dialog and no music or bullets. At this point, Leslie, having never seen a Tarantino movie before, knew that something bad was going to happen... even though no one was doing anything remotely violent. It still amazes me how Tarantino does this. I was even shaking a bit, and I wasn’t the one entering a sensory overload induced panic attack. 

A rudimentary summery of the plot might go like this: Bounty hunter buys slave, slave helps bounty hunter, bounty hunter frees slave, slaves tells bounty hunter about his missing wife, slave and bounty hunter save said wife. Simple, no? Simple enough in a way, but it is in that very last plot element where the film so drastically changes from buddy comedy into morally queasiness inducing bloodbath. 

Let me explain: for most of the movie (the parts that Leslie liked) there is this sort of warmth between Django and Dr. Schultz.... nearing a father/son relationship. There is some genuine chemistry between them, and I am sure that Leslie was hoping they would walk off into the sunset together, as was I (although she told me afterwards that given the way the movie was set up, she knew one of them was going to die).

There are three linch pins which swing the movie from comedy to tragedy, however: two conversations between Django and Schultz, and a man being eaten by dogs.

The first conversation takes place when a reluctant Django fails to shoot a wanted criminal because the man’s son is present. Schultz tells Django that in his world, the world that Django has now entered in order to rescue his wife, he must “get dirty.”

And so the morality grays a bit.

The second conversation transpires as Django and Schultz are on their way to the plantation where Broomhilda, Django’s wife, is being kept. In order to get into the plantation, Django and Schultz are passing themselves off as two slavers looking to buy a prizefighter of a man. This is all a ruse, of course, but in order for it to work, Django must pass himself off as a black slaver... the “lowest of the low” as he puts it. Schultz has instructed him several times now that when in these positions, he must NEVER break character, no matter what. And Django doesn’t.

He plays his character so well in fact, that Schultz becomes uncomfortable, and asks Django to tone it down a notch. Django simply retorts that it was Schultz himself who told Django that he needed to “get dirty.” Schultz backs off, and they proceed towards the plantation.

The morality darkens further.

The third pin is the kicker, though. As they are making their final approach to the plantation, they stumble upon a slave who has been caught running away. The plantation owner (who is escorting Django and Schultz) toys with the man, pretending to have sympathy, while at the same time threatening to do him in. Schultz, feeling sorry for the man, offers to buy the runaway slave outright in order to save him. Django, however, interrupts Schultz to tell the owner that they don’t REALLY want to buy the slave, Schultz is just tired of the owner toying with the man and wants to move on.

The owner grins maliciously and then sics the dogs on the poor man. Schultz, while hurt and disturbed, says nothing. It is at this point that Django’s transformation from a man trying to save his wife into a monster like the slave traders around him becomes complete. His “charade” has become so convincing that even he nearly believes it himself. No one’s life matters anymore, save for his wife.

This is the reason, I believe, that it is in perfect keeping with the theme of the movie that Schultz dies before the end... because he has become less violent, he has become soft and kind... and there is little room for such people in Tarantino’s films. As has been said by his long time collaborator, Samuel L Jackson, Tarantino’s films are a peek into the minds of violent people. 

So, in the end, Django is classic Tarantino. And that is why Leslie had such a negative reaction to the ending... and I must confess that I have had similar reactions.... (especially to one Doctor Horrible’s Sing Along Blog). Hyper focused, and hyper invested, she wanted Django to turn into something other than a monster, but in order to survive in the world of Tarantino, one must become a monster. 

As was said in one of the trailers before the movie: “One day, kimosabe, good man must wear mask.” Schultz, the only truly honorable character in the movie, refuses to wear a mask... and as such, he dies.

To quote another movie: “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” 

Tarantino as explained by the Nolan brothers. You’re welcome.

Lust for Life

It’s funny how as the pace of life speeds up, we as humans slow down to compensate. I’m not sure if this is a good thing, or if it simply complicates the process; but as so many haggard old men and jaded adults tell me: “It is what it is.”

Moving so slowly myself, it’s near impossible for me not to notice this cycle of cause and effect. Over the past two weeks or so everything has become a whirlwind of activity and pine and turkey and driving and Santas. After spending nearly a week straight in my van touring Virginia, haggard seems like a very good word.

Of course we move slower; when faced with a whirlpool or cliff face, you tend to cling onto whatever piece of stable ground is in sight. You don’t want to fall, you don’t want to die. Even humans who have nothing to live for tend to actively avoid situations where their sanity and wellbeing will be tested. We like safe, we like known... even if we don’t know why.

Amid all this transitioning and insanity, around the time when Thanksgiving was transitioning into Advent, Quentin Tarantino began to come up a lot. I really have no idea why. Perhaps it was the release of his 20th anniversary box set containing all his films, or maybe he was just coming up in conversation more naturally... but I suddenly found myself holding conversations about him with my girlfriend, Leslie, and my old film buddy from college, Jeremy.

With Leslie, I expounded on Tarantino’s unique flavor of dialog and tone, and how similar it is in many respects to Flannery O’Connor (which Leslie had just been sharing with me). They both have a very strong ear for conversation and ethnic colloquialisms, and both add sudden spurts of violence to their stories to punctuate themes and ideas.

With Jeremy, I reminisced about the time we had gone to see Tarantino’s WWII epic, Inglourious Basterds in theaters together, not realizing that we were witnessing film history. The movie singlehandedly launched Austrian actor Christoph Waltz’s career, and once again threw Tarantino’s hat in the ring with such filmmakers as James Cameron, the Coen brothers, Peter Jackson and Pete Doctor. Of course, neither of us could ever forget that opening scene.

It was a given that since he came up more in conversation, the films I began to watch in my free time (which I tend to have to much of as of late) we mostly his. I began with Death Proof, then worked my way through Kill Bill and Reservoir Dogs, leading up to his masterpieces: the afore mentioned Inglourious Basterds and, of course, Pulp Fiction.

At this point, I realize that a lot of you are wondering where I am going with this, and perhaps even a few are offended by my love for such a “twisted” man as Tarantino. Allow me to explain: As I began to rewatch his films, I also started looking up interviews on Youtube and watching mini-documentaries where he talked about his work. The wild look in his eye might disturb some even more than the gratuitous violence of his films; it suggests that he is either constantly huffing cocaine, or that he had a serious case of untreated ADHD. Whatever the case may be, the wild look in his eye and gregarious gesticulation of his hands always punctuate whatever he says. The man is larger than life, but more than that.... he LOVES life.

And then it hit me, say whatever you want about his films, I want to be more like pointy jawed, foulmouthed, interrupting crazy man. Why, you ask? Because I would bet good money that there is not a day of the year where he wakes up disappointed or clinging to that last bit of solidity the day before. I would bet that each morning when he walks up, he says something to the effect of:

“Hot DAMN it feels good to be alive! Booyah! I get to make movies and hang out with awesome people and it’s totally ******* awesome! You know? I think I’m going to get myself a tasty beverage to wake up!”

His enthusiasm is infectious, and despite the fact that he may be a sub-par filmmaker, I firmly believe that it is his boundless enthusiasm which inspires those that surround him to do their best.

It reminds me of my history and math professors in college. They might not have been the best in the world, and I was most definitely not the best student, but the energy that they exuded in class infected my being. I excelled in those classes, not because the professor cracked a whip over my back, but because he loved what he did.

Anyone can be “good” at what they do, not everyone can LOVE what they do. Take for example the Apostle Peter. Poor Peter was pretty much just bad at life, he backstabbed his friends, he sliced off people’s ears and just made a general fool of himself... but there was something in him that Jesus saw that many others probably did not have: the Love. After Christ’s death and resurrection, Peter became the most vocal and prolific of all the Apostles (save for Paul, who came later). He offended, healed, preached, and probably drank and sang his way through life, never abating from the cause of Christ. Even his final request to be crucified upside down was for the Love. He loved Yahweh, and it showed.

How many of us live mediocre lives of mediocre excitement? Far too many, I would hazard a guess. The trite, cliched piece of inspiration might come in the form of: “Be the best you you can be.” But that is truly a chiasm from hell.

Instead, do it for the Love. It will make you jump out of bed, plaster a smile on your big dumb face, and cause everyone you meet to wonder what the hell has gotten into you. And you can tell them firmly that it is not hell, it is the Love. You did it for the Love.

Best and Worst Films of 2011

OK, so I've given you my thoughts about two of this past year's films, and I think it's time to move onto the others. So here it is, my votes for the best and worst films of 2011.

First up we have the

Biggest Disappointments:

-Harry Potter 8: After the first part of Deathly Hallows was released a year ago I was very excited. Deathly Hallows pt 1 was everything I was hoping it would be. Yates had finally captured the tone perfectly. The scene where Ron was required to destroy the one horcrux in the woods was particularly haunting. But with the last installment, I realized it just didn't pack enough punch. I mean... it wasn't BAD, but it should have been one of the best movies of the year... and it just wasn't. I will always remain a fan of the books, but I am saddened by how the last film just sort of fizzled. I guess it just goes to show that a film rarely lives up to the imagination of a piece of literature.

-Pirates 4: This was just sad. There was one good fight scene between the mermaids and Blackbeard's crew... but that was it. Other than that, it was just the same old tomfoolery that we saw in the second and third movies. I wanted this movie to have heart... but no, it didn't. Also it basically says at the end that love = mercy killing. Thanks Pirates of the Caribbean, I feel like that was a perfect metaphor. :P

-Hoodwinked 2: Two words: fart jokes. It's like taking the original movie and giving it a swirly. It defiles the very memory of the first movie, which I now have to remind myself that it was actually GOOD.

-Green Hornet: The epitome of forgettable. It wasn't really a bad movie, but neither was it good. It's one of those movies that you don't necessarily walk out of, but when it's over you begin to wonder "why did I watch that again?"

-The Three Musketeers: Similar to the Green Hornet. Not a terrible film... it was just... yeah. The script was pretty painful. At least it got better towards the end were the film basically began screaming: "I KNOW THAT I'M RIDICULOUS! SO GUESS WHAT?!?!?!? AIRSHIPS!!!!!!!!!"

-Immortals: I am a big fan the swords and sandals epic. And while this one was fun, it was less than it should have been. It wasn't as sweeping as Ben Hur, nor was it as bombastic as 300. Kind of reminds me of Revelation 3:16: "So because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

-Sherlock Holmes 2: I already dealt with this one the other day. Like I said, not enough heart.


Now for some of the honorable mentions

Trippiest Movie: Sucker Punch: This one got a bad-wrap, I realize that. But it was among the films that surprised me most. I mean, I knew that it wasn't going to be a great movies... and it wasn't by any means. I felt like I was on something for most of the time that I was watching it. But neither is it some sort of exploitation film that was created to belittle women. In fact, the end almost made up for the rest of the weirdness of the film. I have to give Snyder points... the man knows exactly what he's doing.

Best Documentary: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold: I really love Morgan Spurlock; not only is he a very funny fellow, but he knows how to make a fine documentary and then turn it into an event. The Greatest Movie Ever Sold is scathing and hilarious and will tell you more than you ever wanted to know about advertising, much like Spurlock did with fast food not too long ago.

Best Christmas Movie: Arthur Christmas: To be honest, this isn't really a Christmas movie. Well, it TECHNICALLY is, but it is way more than that. Christmas sort of serves as the trapping of the movie; it's fun, bubbly exterior. The real heart of the movie is a treaties on family that made me weep openly in the theater. I won't spoil it, but I loved this movie.

Honorable Mentions: X-Men First Class, Winnie the Pooh, Rango, Fast Five (These are are really good, but not quite good enough for me to go into detail about each one. Diverting and entertaining. All worth seeing once on a rainy day.)

Now.... for the list, starting at 10th favorite and working our way up:

10- Captain America: By far the best superhero movie of the year. The fact that they kept it a period piece (something which X-Men First Class neglected to do) was a plus. Chris Evans plays a fantastic all around great guy, and hence makes a perfect Captain America. As one movie critic put it: "it's patriotic without being preachy." Worth seeing even if you aren't a superhero fan.

9- Fright Night: I have not yet seen the original, even though it is sitting on my movie shelf at home. But in the wake of the long dark that is Twilight, Fright Night comes like the first rays of dawn. The fact that it was written by one of the writers of Buffy just solidifies it in the realm of fun, while sticking to classic vampire lore (they burn in sunlight, they don't sparkle, they eat people, they are not nice, they are ravenous monsters). It's just a total blast from beginning to end. Recommended for monster movie buffs.

8- Super 8: I sort of feel like I am required to like this one, as I actually know the guy who plays the lead. It's really trippy seeing the guy you used to go to Friday Morning Prayer breakfast with on the silver screen. Regardless, that is not why Super 8 is in my top 10. It's here because it is a fantastic movie. The train wreck is one of the most electric and explosive scenes I have seen at the movies all year. The cast they picked is fantastic and as the film progresses, you get to see more and more layers to each character peeled back. Spielberg definitely brought out the best in JJ Abrams in this one.

7- Drive: Talk about tone shift. My head was spinning after this movie. Bloody revenge flick, gangster movie, romance, drama, triller, car flick (duh), 80s movie??? It's ridiculous, violent, heartfelt, warm, hopeful, dangerous and filled with 80s techno. This is one of those movies you chew on. Definitely not for the faint of heart. This one is more Tarantino than Tron. So just be warned about what you are getting yourself into. Bullitt meets arthouse meets Kill Bill.

6- Mission Impossible 4: I've already discussed this one, but it bears repeating. Best globetrotting popcorn flick of the year. Explosions, tests of loyalty, cool gadgets, more explosions. Won't ruin the ending... but it's good.

5-Bridesmaids: Yes, this is number five. I am as surprised as you are. The jokes are over the top, and this is not a family film. But I was very surprised as how candid it was about the problem of free sex and how it degrades women and doesn't give them what they want at all. Parts of the movie are almost physically painful to watch, especially how Kristen Wiig's "boyfriend" treats her like some plaything that has no real emotions. That makes the appearance of Chris O'Dowd from the "IT Crowd" all that more powerful. He's an openhearted sweet guy who treats Wiig like a lady and helps her realize what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. The film boarders on falling into being a sex comedy, while at the same time beating the snot out of the genre and spitting in its face. Wiig is fantastic.

4- Kung Fu Panda 2: Best animated movie of the year. Like Arthur Christmas, this one made me cry in the theater... audibly. Jack Black has found his calling. Years from now, when people mention his name, it won't be Tropic Thunder or Nacho Libre or Tenacious D that people remember... it will be the Kung Fu Panda series. This movie blows the first one out of the water. It's not just a good animated film, it's a fantastic comedy, action flick and yes, it is even an amazing kung fu movie.

3- The Muppets: Who thought that we would ever see the Muppets in theaters again? Yet here they are. And yes, they constantly point at themselves and laugh at the how obsolete they have become and how ridiculous it is that they are forcing their way into the public consciousness again. I have reviewed this one already too, but it is just that good. It's a movie that proclaims boldly that "it's ok to be goofy and laugh a lot. In order to be relevant you don't have to be 'dark and gritty.'"

2- Rise of the Planet of the Apes: This movie was so good that I actually went back and rewatched it just a day after I watched it the first time. In fact, just talking about it makes me want to watch it again... right now. Going in I thought that the whole evolution issue might be a problem and that the film might be preachy... but it isn't. If you watch it with your kids (and don't worry, this is a totally kid friendly film aside from a few scary scenes), you may still want to have a discussion about the idea of evolution and how it has influenced modern American culture. But as I said, that comes in very little. More than anything else, Rise is just concerned about having a fantastic time. If the film is preachy about anything, it is that we ought to be careful about how we take dominion and that it does not turn into domination... I can totally get on board with that. Also: Andy Serkis is fantastic. Every scene he is in blew my mind... which was pretty much the whole movie. Worth buying and keeping next to your DVD player.

1- Attack the Block: I. LOVED. THIS. MOVIE. Yes, it's a monster movie, and yes the accents are a bit hard to understand. (If it's really all that hard, you can always turn on the subtitles.) But this movie is so much more than the sum of its parts. Now that I think about it, Attack the Block is very similar to Super 8 in a lot of ways (alien monsters, troop of kids, etc), but it is the execution that makes all the difference. Little bits like script, actor choice, cinematography and monster effects really take Attack the Block to a new level. This is one of those movies that makes you want to stand up a cheer. Worth seeing more than once.


(Random footnotes: Not going to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Read the book, that was enough. Have now seen Hanna and The Descendants. Both good. Might review later. Also forgot to add Trollhunter to my list of favorites. Would probably give it best non-English film. Still have not seen The Artist yet. Planning on catching it later in the next few months.)


All for now,
JSTT

Soundtracks

Why do I love film soundtracks so much? It's one of those things that I never really thought of explaining before... I just always have.

But I found myself listening to the soundtrack to 127 Hours yesterday, and being profoundly affected... even thought I have not even seen the film. Why? Why? I ask.

Because there is something in a film score that we simply do not have anymore today. There is something in there that you cannot find in a piece of pop music. You cannot find it in a rap, nor a big band jazz groove. What is it?

A story.

The great composers of old have gone the way of the dinosaurs. In our commercialism-laden, capitalistic society, where making money is the only thing of real importance (cough, cough), the greatest writers of music are in movies (with the possible exception of Michael W. Smith). Danny Elfman, Hans Zimmer, James Newton Howard, Ennio Morricone, John Murphy, Klaus Badelt, Michael Giacchino... all the greats are now in film. And if they are really good (most of the ones I just listened are) they don't need a film to tell a story, because that's what classical music is all about.

Buy a film score without watching the movie or knowing the story. Listen to it, let the music tell the story. I dare you.

(500) Days of Pure Evil

OK, this one has been a long time coming, so I figured I would take a break from playing Plant vs. Zombies, studying Greek and checking email in order to bring you this well thought out and coherent (ahem) essay explaining why 500 Days of Summer is a horrible, awful, no good, very bad movie. You all had better appreciate it! (insert sarcastic wink here)

Now, as a second preface, I must say that I had been looking forward to this movie for a long, long time. I think it might have even been one of those films that got me stuck in the paper mill of advertising, and I was near salivating to see it. (Wow, that's kind of a disgusting metaphor.) On top of that I am an enormous Joseph Gordon-Levitt fan, Brick and Inception being in my top 15 favorite films. So by the time it came to our little second run theater here in Moscow late summer '09, there was pretty much no way anyone was going to stop me from going.

I went alone... which in retrospect was probably for the best. I'm not sure I would be comfortable watching that movie with anyone at this point in my life. I would either be embarrassed, break down crying, try to kill everyone in the room, shield my friends' eyes, or perhaps attempt to do all four simultaneously. I am not to be held accountable for anything I do to you while watching this movie.

Now that I'm done ranting (no I'm not), I'll beginning with my logical explanation:

The movie starts with not the opening credits, but a dedication of sorts... kind of like at the beginning of a book. "For my dog Frank, who was always there for me," or "To my Dad, for keeping me honest," or something of that sort. The opening dedication for 500 Days of Summer goes a little something like this:

"Author's Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman... Bitch."

Hmmm... bitter much?

While watching it for the first time (to this date the only time I have been able to watch the film in its entirety. I tried again a few months later, but was unable to get further than the 30 minute mark), I promptly forgot this first warning sign and watched on... very sure that this film was describing my heart-broken life in all its bitter detail.

The film begins with the classic boy meets girl. Tom works as a greeting card writer in a fashionable part of L.A. Summer begins working there as a secretary. Tom and Summer are very different. "How?" you ask? Well, let me put this as bluntly as possible: Tom's a girl, and Summer's a dude. Yes, it's weird; no, it's not what you think. Let me explain:

Tom is a sensitive guy. Not only is he sensitive, but he's whiny, needy, "in touch" with his emotions, and is kind of pathetic. He's clingy, and obnoxious, and all the things that guys really find gross and unattractive in women. Tom is a guy technically, but he represents all the bad stereotypes of women.

Summer is a head-strong girl. Not only is she head-strong, but she's immature, cavalier, sexually obsessed, and doesn't really see the point of committing to a relationship when you could just "have fun." Summer is a girl technically, but she represents all the bad stereotypes of guys that women hate.

The movie would be bad enough if it was Tom being the sex-obsessed guy, and Summer being the whiny girl. In fact, I am pretty sure that if that movie were ever pitched to any forward thinking Hollywood production company they would reject it outright, their brains bleeding after they hemorrhaged at hearing such a horrible and stupid idea. So why, when the gender roles are reversed, is it suddenly acceptable, and not only acceptable but cool and a movie worthy of putting on film critics' "Best Movies of the Year" lists?

In the end the relationship explodes (duh) after a conversation where Summer compares them both to Sid and Nancy (if you don't know who Sid and Nancy are, click here, then come back and read the rest of my rant/essay/reviewishthingy). Tom is offended by such a comparison and retorts: "But Sid stabbed Nancy with a knife! I hardly think I'm Sid Vicious!"

"Noooooo...." Summer replies. "I'M Sid."

"Oh... so I'm Nancy," Tom says, a little dazed.

The gender flipping is explicitly referenced here. How could it be missed? Soon after, Summer tells Tom that the relationships should probably end. The sex has been good, but Summer still doesn't believe in "love." What a mature, upstanding woman.

For the last half-an-hour or so of the film, Tom follows Summer around like a pitiful puppy dog, until he at last learns that she's gotten engaged. Tom (with good reason) is incredulous. Summer talks him down though, reassuring him that he taught her what love really was... he just wasn't the right guy for her. They share a tender moment where Summer encourages Tom to pursue his dream of becoming an architect instead of a greeting card writer, and then she leaves.

The final scene is Tom waiting for an interview at an architecture firm. While waiting he meets one of the other applicants, a girl... they agree to meet for coffee. And with the final credits fast approaching, Tom calls out as she's walking away:

"What's you name?"

"Autumn!" she calls back.

To quote a friend of mine: Really? REALLY??? How am I supposed to believe, or have any kind of faith that either of them really learned anything at all? How do you know that Tom will grow a skin and not get his heart torn out by Autumn too? The name kind of implies that the cycle is just continuing. What about Summer? When the sex isn't good anymore, won't she just dump her shiny new play thing and move on to whatever is the newer, shinier thing? The sequel would probably begin with them just as broken and hallow and empty as they were when they first broke up.

The film is not about real life.... well it is, but not the right kind. It really does represent where our wonderful world is headed: Men chickening out, and women taking the lead... or becoming really screwed up versions of men as the case may be. But that is not the way that God created the world. The version of the world that 500 Days of Summer portrays is badly broken, and not something we should emulate. Not only that, but it is not something we should enjoy watching either. The first time I watched it, it simply induced a pity party of supernova proportions. Living in the suckiness of the past is a lame way to live your life, however accurately or inaccurately the film might portray past events of your life. Get out of yourself. No... life is not all about you. There is more to this life than sex and getting instant gratification, or simply getting, getting, getting from a relationship. Where's the give? Where is the givING for that matter?

I have fallen into the self-pity trap more times than I can count. There is no getting around that. But instead of that hurting my ethos, I hope strengthens my exhortation to the small number of readers that I have: I've been there. I've done that. Don't fall into the horrible, horrible stereotypes of this film. Read your Bible... there are some pretty good stereotypes to live up to in there.

All that said... I may still go to work for a greeting card company someday.